Sexual harassment and assault are being brought out of the shadows and into the bright light of public scrutiny. The most remarkable societal change occurring now is that the victims are being believed. The #metoo movement is allowing society to see just how prevalent sexual assault and harassment are (estimates suggest that 48% of women have been victims) while social media is providing a voice for many, both men and women, who have remained silent for decades.

In my new book, just released but written over a year and a half ago, Understanding Gender at Work, I list sexual harassment as a gender blind spot, due to the false assumption that it has disappeared from the workplace. As a consequence of this blind spot, even when sexual harassment does occur, it tends to be overlooked. At the time, this observation was based on information coming out of Uber and Silicon Valley where HR departments were ignoring complaints of young women in order to protect creative and high performing males.  Societal responses to President Trump’s bragging about sexual assault reinforced this trend to overlook inconvenient truths by either normalizing such behavior as “locker room talk” or minimizing it with excuses such as  “boys will be boys.” What we are now witnessing is a backlash to this covering up, overlooking, normalizing and minimizing response.

I have dealt with sexual predators, and even tested and debriefed some in my work as a neuropsychologist. I know that sexual transgressions, from harassment to assault, are all based on the drive for power and not sex. Controlling someone is where the thrill comes from. Sexual predators flourish in situations where there are vulnerable and dependent individuals, reliant on others to make it in a new career or for their livelihood. They often are highly regarded within their industries or professions, using their good reputations to mask their criminal behavior.

So what can we do? How can we add to the momentum of societal change? Here are four suggestions.

1. Support the survivor. Listen to them, and most importantly, believe them. Let them begin the process of healing by sharing their experiences with you. Help them understand they are not to blame, and don’t feel the need to provide solutions or to fix it. Encourage them to seek medical or psychological help, and to find out about their rights. Don’t push. These are decisions for the survivor to make in their own time. Support them regardless of their decision.
2. Educate yourself about the rights of victims. Find out what legal remedies are available in your jurisdiction; this is especially important if you are a lawyer. As a lawyer, you are seen by others to be knowledgeable about the law, and thus may be approached by victims seeking help. There are many organizations that deal with harassment, including professional associations, HR associations, and associations focusing on women’s rights. Find out about them.
3. Recognize, shine a light and draw a line. If you see something, say something. I watched an interview recently, and was saddened when a young woman said the behaviour shown by Roy Moore was just the way of the world. Let’s help change that idea and see this type of behaviour for what it is: the bullying of others for personal gratification. If you are not comfortable calling it (and that is understandable, especially if you are junior and the abuser has more power), build an alliance. Talk to others about the behaviour. Get support and work as a group to stop inappropriate sexual behaviour. We are in changing times and the more people helping to ensure that sexual harassment is brought into the light and seen for what it truly is, the faster societal norms will change.
4. Start a dialogue. The boundaries regarding molestation and assault should be pretty clear. However, stories and statistics from universities suggest that many young people don’t know that unwanted touching is assault. So perhaps we should start with talking about what exactly sexual harassment and sexual assault are with co-workers and friends. Have honest and open conversations about what is OK and what is never acceptable. Such an open conversation can also include positive things that managers and colleagues can do at work to support and advance women, including vouching for them, making positive comments about their work performance, encouraging them to developing their expertise, and ensuring they are included in important projects.

Having open and honest conversations is of vital importance right now. Senior working women told me just this past week that they are worried that men may stop working with or mentoring women, usually young women, for fear of making such women feel uncomfortable or unsafe. So conversations between men and women in these changing times are paramount. However, to be clear, sexual predation is seldom curtailed through discussion. Sexual predators are measured, systematic and strategic in their actions. Often it takes formal complaints and even criminal prosecution to stop them. Sexual predators in the workplace should not to be confused with individuals who may lack social skills and bumble their way through interactions; but even that stereotype of bumbling males needs to be carefully examined.

Many commentators say we are at a tipping point in society regarding sexual harassment and assault: where old ways of responding are abandoned for more enlightened ones; where the abusive behaviour is seen for what it truly is; and where victims are believed and not blamed. I hope they are right, because achieving gender equality will be even further away than it is now if such behaviour is allowed to move into the shadows again; or if concern due to uncertainly reduces work and mentoring opportunities for young women.