Confident and clear communication is essential in law – both written and oral. It allows others to understand and agree with your way of thinking – whether it is colleagues, clients, judges or jurors. It also allows your ideas to be heard in the office and makes your contribution obvious. One senior general counsel recently told me that communication was the most important dimension of social intelligence. If you are not able to communicate well, others may not see your abilities and value. And for advancement in law, making your value visible is key.
One type of impediment to being clear and confident is tentative language styles. They often become established at a young age due to various personal factors and, when viewed by others with different styles, may be misinterpreted and misunderstood. Law tends to be a very masculine profession and masculine style is typically the norm. Due to this standard, individuals who use a tentative or subordinate style may be viewed (incorrectly) as lacking in confidence. And to be persuasive, confidence is essential.
It is important to note that language styles are only detrimental if used habitually, without awareness; there is no absolute right or wrong style or habit. Rather it is important to select the appropriate style based on the situation and the audience instead of using the same default style each time.
Three types of language patterns that signal uncertainty and automatically minimize authority involve the beginning and ends of phrases. These patterns are not wrong in all circumstances and, when used strategically, can show deference and deflect aggressive stances. However, if you want to create an image of confidence and solid ideas, become aware of any habitual use and start to use them consciously only in appropriate situations.
Undermining Starts: These are phrases added to the beginning of sentences to signal uncertainty and often are misinterpreted as indicating a lack of confidence. When used automatically and frequently, they reflect uncertainty where none exists. Some common examples include: “Maybe it’s just me but…This may be a dumb question…I feel this is about…I may not be right but …”.
Weakening Modifiers: Using these modifiers weakens the impact of your message. They have the same effect as undermining openings – they make the speaker sound tentative and uncertain. Some common examples include: “Hopefully we will be able to deal with this…I just want to explain that …It’s kind of normal for this….Basically the main issue is …” Please note that if you wish to communicate uncertainty – feel free to use them. The key point is using them consciously rather than habitually.
Diminishing Endings: Diminishing endings are words added to the end of sentences that signal uncertainty and diminish power. Unfortunately this language pattern also minimizes the message and reduces the person’s authority. Again there is nothing wrong with these endings and the use is entirely appropriate with friends or others who speak in this manner. However for a listener with a different, more authoritative style it will often be viewed as indicating a lack of certainty, knowledge and ability. Some common examples are: “OK?… How does that sound?…Does that make sense?…Right?” Some clients when under stress, usually during presentations, have been told they use one word or phrase after each statement. And they were shocked as they had no idea they said it even once.
Another way that some speakers appear uncertain is by going up in pitch at the end of each statement. It is known as “up-speak”. It sounds as if a question is being asked rather than a statement is being made. The result? The speaker appears very uncertain even when they are not. If you are like some clients and use it to show connection with the listener, be aware that there are better communication techniques for doing this; techniques that will let the listener know you want comments but will not make you appear lacking in self-assurance.
If you don’t know if you use any of these tentative language patterns (and since they are habits you may not) ask trusted colleagues or friends. They will know. Awareness allows you to start noticing when you use them and create strategies for avoiding them. Don’t be discouraged if it takes some time to decrease their automatic use – remember the habit took time to develop. Be grateful that you can use the awareness to change.

If you would like more information on clear and confident communication– please see my book Advance Your Legal Career: Essential Skills for Success published by Lexis Nexis Canada.